I know this is a bit Margaret Cho like, but it seems we both could use some digital help for our sexuality, albeit in different ways.

It is funny to write about this. The entire crux of a spiritual dating path is to not judge, while the entire purpose of blogging, and perhaps communication in general is to present judgment to someone else as a means of existential reference.

So, I contemplate the events of the last month with Shane, and I explore the emotions. It has been interesting (albeit probably obnoxious to read about) to choose not to distance or detach myself from the grief of the “loss.” In the past I would have worked quickly to eliminate the issue through a progressive series of emotional slight-of-hand. A little bailing wire hear, some plaster there, all to make sure that the rationalization sticks. “The following is an itemized list why what was thought, was indeed not the truth. It is our hope that with the provided insights, a change of perspective will eliminate the current undesired state of mind. Item number one…” This, from the overly competent demons in my head. But they don’t know about the baby. Or perhaps they simply don’t care.

While trying to stay on my spiritual path, I some times feel lost. The landmarks are all wrong, leaving me without a sense of self, let alone direction. Lame MapQuest – Google Maps would had this figured out, with a pretty picture none the less: “<– You are here!”

In the end, all I really know is this: “I liked him. I really, really liked him.”